Friday, August 15, 2025

The Vision (8.15.25): The Duties of Fathers to Children

 


Image: Cardinal Lobelia, Moscow, Michigan, August 2025.

Note: Devotion taken from last Sunday's sermon on Ephesians 6:1-4:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

This teaching comes in the context of Paul’s “household code” in Ephesians. He addresses first here the duties of children to parents, based on the fifth commandment (Ephesians 6:1-3; cf. Exodus 20:12)

The corresponding admonition to parents in Ephesians 6:4 is directed specifically to the father. This tells us, as with the charges to wives and husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33), about the special responsibilities of men, according to the order of creation, within the family.

Notice again that these instructions to fathers is what would have surprised the first readers. They assumed the power and authority of the father as the Pater Familias, the head of the household. In the Roman context a father was an absolute power in the home. He literally had the authority of life and death when an infant was born. What the first hearers would have been struck by is the fact that he had duties to his children to treat them in a responsible and loving manner, seeking especially their spiritual good.

Paul begins with a negative command, “ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath” (v. 4a). Some modern versions read, “Do not exasperate your children.” The father does not exercise discipline and rule so as to crush the spirits of his children, or to make them angry due to his cruelty or indifference or unloving spirit towards them.

R. C. Sproul wrote on this passage:

This doesn’t mean that every time a child becomes angry with a parent, it is because the parents have been guilty of unjust provocation. But there is such a thing as a belligerent, insensitive, harsh, and stentorian type of discipline which so frustrates children that they are filled with hostility and resentment towards their parents which then spills over into the rest of their lives (Ephesians, 145).

Paul then offers two positive commands:

First, but bring them up in the nurture (paideia, a term referring to education and discipleship), and second, in the instruction (nouthesia, counsel or exhortation) of the Lord.

The Puritans described the family as like a “little church.” The father acts as a pastor and as a priest in his household. He is concerned for the spiritual well-being of his children above all, just as his duty to his wife was for her sanctification (cf. Ephesians 5:26-27).

How beautiful it is when these two things work together in harmony: When children honor parents in the Lord and when godly fathers, alongside their wives and the mother of their children, raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Grace and peace, Pastor Jeff Riddle

Note: In the Practical Application at the close of last Sunday’s sermon on Ephesians 6:1-4, I offered a list of some of the duties of children and parents (fathers) drawn from some teaching from past years. You can review some of this sort of family material previously posted to my blog here:

Five Duties of Children to Parents.

Five Duties of Parents to Children.

The Puritan Thomas Vincent’s list of seven duties for children and parents (1674).

A Summary of D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ book Raising Children God’s Way.

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